Dear Z. N
You want to know something? May 2023, Saya pernah manifesting something with my bestfriend. Saya cakap, by the end of this year or next year, aku maw kahwin. Padahal waktu tu saya masih tak kerja. I'm still struggle. Saya tak jumpa Kunkwan pun lagi. Why manifesting? Sebab saya nampak video dalam tiktok about manifesting. Then i just chat with bestfriend sy tu.
As berjalannya waktu, saya interview banyak kerja, and then diterima di Kunkwan and start my life as Education Consultant. On November 2023, di takdirkan that you saw my post about mandarin Class. And you decide untuk belajar register. Di first chat kita, without asking your occupation, you secara tak langsung bagitau saya what is your work. I'm afraid untuk tanya, sebab saya au memang ada jenos manusia yang tak nak share pun dia berkerja sbgai apa. And saya hormat keputusan mereka yang tak nak bagitau mereka berkerja sebagai apa.
Then saya sedar satu gerakan kecil from you. I'm wondering why you cerita about your work life with me? And you keep saying, "sorry, sebenarnya saya tak biasa ni cerita about kerja dengan orang. Saya hanya ikut gerak hati cerita di sini". that gestures makes me feel like, "are you trying to flirt with me dear dr?" but honestly, saya suka dengan your work stories. Maybe sebab doctor is one of my cita-cita yang saya kubur dalam-dalam. And amybe jugak sebab saya seorag penonton setia hospital drama. I dont know. Tapi yang saya tahu memang saya suka dengar your story di hospital.
Tak lama lepas tu, you start ask me, sama ada saya pilih single or couple? Sebab waktu ada video single or couple from my company. I'm so sorry if my answer on that time mengecewakan you. I faham your question di tambah lagi dengan sebelum tu, you said, ada orang kirim salam untuk lynn. when i asked siapa yang kirim salam, you jawab, its from yourself.
My answer on that time os I prefer single. Then you ask, ada memori hitam? I didnt answer it, because on that time, I am totally move on from my ex. I said Single much better and i did said sebab faktor usia. And saya cakap jugak waktu tu, married dah padam from my kamus hidup. I dont know why saya cakap begitu. Tapi jujur, on that moment, saya dah tak pernah terfikir untuk jumpa orang and cakap pasal kahwin. And saya jujur, saya lupa about my manifesting yang saya buat on May with my friends.
From days to weeks, we chat everyday non stop. Dari pagi sampai pagi, sampai my mom tegur, "siapa tu? student ka?" my answer that time "ya". And the feelings start to develop. Rasa bahagia makin datang. Kalau sebelum ni, saya selalu lost my phone, but now, phone sy sentiasa di tangan.
Ermm apa lagi yang kita pernah cerita ar?
Now we already, as today 13/12/2023, its been 35 days we know each other. And it is 13 days we official couple and 22 days since first time perkataan Bakal isteri muncul. Dalam masa 35 hari, we already talk about marriage walaupun belum dapat kata putus bila, kita dah pernah bercakap pasal how many kids do we want.
Yes, I admit, banyak benda kita tidak ngam, but I believe, itu lah pentingnya PERHUBUNGAN. Kita kena makesure our communication sampai to each other supaya kita dapat capai kata sepakat. Jujur, everytime ada salah faham, saya akan nangis, sebab saya pemikiran saya tidak macam orang lain. Saya rasa saya paling useless between us. sebab ketidakpandaian saya, you kena buat benda yang paling you tak suka iaitu, EXPLAINING AGAIN. I used to love whatsapp, tapi bila selalu sangat salah faham, terus saya rasa, can we meet everyday. can we talk face to face everyday?
My biggest fear in our relationship is "I BELIEVE YOU WONT LEAVE ME BUT I'M AFRAID YOU WILL"
Trust me, I'll stay by your side even through hardest times. I want to be your home. A home that will make you feel calm and loved. I love you, Z.N
Pen on : 0238hrs
Pen off : 0423hrs
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